Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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