my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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