i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
