my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
