Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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