Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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