she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
