Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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