Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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