i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
