So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
