'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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