Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
