I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize