butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
