U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
