its not stalking. its research.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
