Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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