Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize