Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
