We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize