we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
