ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize