Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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