I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
