I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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