I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
