im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
