the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
