Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
