Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
