this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
