I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize