SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
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Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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