i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
