I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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