I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
