oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
