this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
