More tranny stories later!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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