Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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