never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
