Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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