I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
