I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there's paper in my vomit.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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