i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Shitshow foam night was such a success
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
