I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize