Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
