Dual....:-)
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
