waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
