we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
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you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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