If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
