If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
