I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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