Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
