Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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