yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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