After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
